Before I begin, let me say that I have NOT been officially diagnosed with breast cancer. I’ve had some troubling symptoms, and got a thermogram November 8.
Here’s an article on breast thermography.
Got the results on November 22 and my left breast is at TH5, which is “high risk”, or “very abnormal”, or “severely abnormal”… according to the report and from various sources on the web.
Our family physician told me when I saw him last that my last mammogram was 2016 but today when I called the breast care center they reminded me that I got one in April of 2018. Noting this here in case anyone gets on my case about not getting mammograms. 😛
This article charts the differences between mammograms, ultrasounds, thermograms. The only thing is, it’s very difficult to obtain an ultrasound just because you want one. I called today and was told I needed my OB to order one and that they usually want a mammogram first before an ultrasound. Why can’t I, the patient, make this decision for myself? I’m frustrated.
December 4 I have an appointment with N’s nutritionist nurse who supposedly has gotten one woman to go from TH5 to TH3 in 3 months… I’m hoping to get the same results.
December 6 I AM seeing the OB for my pap, and hopefully to persuade her to give me the lab order for the ultrasound. I’m bracing myself for a lot of arm twisting re mammograms. :/
I have good and bad moments. I didn’t sleep very well the first night I got the thermogram results and cried in the bathroom so B and N don’t wake up. I figured every once in a while that I allow myself to “go there” shouldn’t be so bad. The kids got home late from stuff so I didn’t get the chance to talk to them, and just left the report for them to peruse while we drove to St. Louis to take my mom back home.
Last night after we got back and everyone was home we sat down and talked, I just laid out everything I was feeling and fearing, and P led his siblings in praying over me. We prayed the flying novena too. I wasn’t all that cheerful afterwards though much relieved that my kids seem to be capable of handling this cross, and I know can count on them for support when I have my bad moments. I didn’t sleep well but not from overthinking — B was coughing and I woke up at 1 and couldn’t get back to sleep, so moved downstairs to the couch and prayed my Hours and Divine Intimacy and ICWG, and read and browsed Amazon videos until I got sleepy.
I did get up with a clear head and a sunny outlook… funny how fasting can do that. Drove to the lab for my blood test and survived, even though it took three sticks. Sigh. Now here I am continuing with the endless research, but I have a mind to stop soon and do some sewing to take my mind off things.
And that’s the story of my days, these days… I can do a deep dive into that rabbit hole and not surface for days, if I let myself. Last night I got a scolding from B about my mental health. It’s a tricky balance between researching so I can be proactive in helping myself, and reading/processing so much that I get overwhelmed and sink into despair. Prayerful friends are helping. I know he’s right though; there’s some good that can come out of worst-case-scenario thinking, but I can also, very easily, sink into depression. And I know several of my kids have this tendency as well so we really need to shore each other up to get through this intact and sane.
I hesitated to call this a “cancer diary”, but my friend N (who’s been in the battle for the last year or so) did say to treat it like it’s cancer with the goal of getting healthy and healing… that’s what I’m trying to do. So I’ll call it C until proven otherwise.
Update 11/27: December 9 I have an appointment with the breast surgeon, per my primary’s recommendation.
In toto, I’m in a good place right now. Our Lord and Mama Mary have my back. We’ll see what the next few weeks have in store for me and my family.
Update 11/29: This article has made me feel hopeful. Though I still have more questions than answers.
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