Thursday when the meat came and there was a package of ground sirloin, my first thought was: burgers! I have NOT had a decent burger in months.

This is not fine cuisine we’re talking about. It’s soooo far removed from the perfect American burger, which usually can only be described in two words: BIG and JUICY, not necessarily flavorful. Nope. My ideal burger is only about 1/4-inch-thick, salty and crunchy….. the same exact things that I love about bacon. (I am of the school that believes the flavor of the burger itself is more important; it should be good enough that it can be enjoyed without all the trimmings and toppings, just like you would a nice filet mignon that needs neither bearnaise nor bordelaise (and definitely not steak sauce).)

Burger Machine was one of our favorite places back in high school. (Funnel cake vendors at county fairs here in the US have a similar truck from which to sell their wares, except that theirs are actually on wheels and not hollow blocks.) It was cheap and unbelievably tasty, down to the last greasy, smelly bite. It reeked but we loved it anyway. (When I went back home in ’87, my best friend and I just had to make a stop at Burger Machine and have our picture taken since we had shared so many great memories there. We asked the “cook” to take our pic. He was so funny, and fixed *his* hair before taking *our* picture.)

Then I went to college and on the very first day of class was introduced to the cheap burger sold behind the Arts and Sciences building. I’ve tried to recall the name for years but none of my UP friends can help me; hubby doesn’t remember the name or the taste either. I think I officially became a foodie in college, and that burger ranks in the top 10 of my many food memories.

When I came to the US, I didn’t like any of the burgers we tried. Until more than a year later when hubby (then suitor) introduced me to Steak N Shake.
[Their specialties are ground sirloin steak burgers and thick icy shakes (hence the name). At the time, the SNS’s were squeaky clean and spotless. Not anymore.] I was so self-conscious the first time he took me there that I just ordered what he was having, a mushroom and cheese burger that while delicious, did not have the combination of flavors I was looking for. Over time I found my voice and learned to place an order for myself. To my delight, I found the American burger that came closest to my Burger Machine dreams. The one burger that really highlights the way SNS’ burger is cooked is their regular cheeseburger, with hot pepper sauce on the side.

Over the years, my memories of those three burger places have sort of melded into one: a burger that most people may find too dry or too different, but the perfect one for me nonetheless.

To make 8 burgers, you need:

1 pound ground sirloin or ground beef (80% lean)
2 eggs
1 1/2 tablespoons dijon mustard
1 teaspoon garlic powder
1 teaspoon onion powder
1 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper

Combine ingredients in a bowl, mixing well.

a cast-iron griddle or large non-stick skillet is best

Heat griddle until really hot but not smoking (drops of water sprinkled on the surface should dance and sizzle for a second or two before dissipating). With paper towels, lightly brush surface with vegetable oil. Form patties about 3 inches in diameter and as thin as you can make them without breaking (the mixture is especially fragile, which is how it should be — this is why you can’t cook these on a grill, and also why it’s perfect for indoor cooking). Cook on the griddle, about 2-3 minutes each side or as brown (or burnt) as you like.

No tomatoes in this one, it was the only pic that turned out good:(

Elements of my perfect burger, from bottom to top:

the bottom of a warmed burger bun, buttered lightly
1 fresh-from-the-griddle burger patty
2 tablespoons shredded lettuce mixed with 1 tablespoon mayo
1 tablespoon sweet pickle relish
1 really thin slice red, ripe beefsteak tomato
sprinkling of salt and freshly ground black pepper
3 really thin slices onion (variety depends on what i feel like eating that day or what i have on hand)
1 tablespoon ketchup
1 teaspoon mustard
several dashes of hot pepper sauce*
the top half of the warmed burger bun, buttered lightly

The only thing that can make this more perfect for me is my own homemade buns, which I was too lazy to make today (it was a foggy, rainy day). Why? Because the buns available in the grocery store are too wimpy and small, so we had to content ourselves with smaller burgers.

The burgers need to be larger than the burger buns, with the crunchy meat overhanging; otherwise the whole burger gets mushy under all the condiments. This way you get both the crunch and the melt-in-your mouth goodness.

Pictures to come as soon as I figure out how to work this new camera (they failed to send the English manual so I have to look for the download; either that or learn technical French in a jiffy).

My kids, who like most Americans are easily satiated with McDonald’s (they are rarely allowed to eat there so it’s more novelty than anything else), loved these burgers. I promised to make it again next time we take a break from allergy-free food.