Time to break out the books!
We need a change here — with my 8-yo. So I’m looking back at an old thread over at the 4Real forum to get some help. I’m compiling the suggestions here and hopefully will have a happy update a few months from now.
and their website: Parent Magic
If-Then Chart — which we tried to use several years ago, just didn’t work for us. We’ll have to make our own. Goes well with Blessing Chart which we’ll also make. Basically for the if-then chart, we will make a list of bad behaviors that need correction and consequences to go with them. An accompanying Blessing Chart with desired behaviors and their reward will be made as well.
Novena To Saint Monica
Exemplary Mother of the Great Augustine,
You perseveringly pursued your wayward son
Not with wild threats
But with prayerful cries to heaven.Intercede for all mothers in our day
So that they may learn
To draw their children to God.Teach them how to remain
Close to their children,
Even the prodigal sons and daughters
Who have sadly gone astray.Dear St Monica, troubled wife and mother,
Many sorrows pierced your heart
During your lifetime.
Yet you never despaired or lost faith.
With confidence, persistence and profound faith,
You prayed daily for the conversion
Of your beloved husband, Patricius
And your beloved son, Augustine.Grant me that same fortitude,
Patience and trust in the Lord.
Intercede for me, dear St. Monica,
That God may favorably hear my plea
For(mention your petition here)
And grant me the grace
To accept his will in all things,
Through Jesus Christ, our Lord,
In the unity of the Holy Spirit,
One God forever and ever. Amen.
Prayers of Parents for Guidance
and for their Children
Parents’ Prayer for Their Children
O God the Father of mankind, who hast given unto me these my children, and committed them to my charge to bring them up for Thee, and to prepare them for eternal life: help me with Thy heavenly grace, that I may be able to fulfill this most sacred duty and stewardship. Teach me both what to give and what to withhold; when to reprove and when to forbear; make me to be gentle, yet firm; considerate and watchful; and deliver me equally from the weakness of indulgence, and the excess of severity; and grant that, both by word and example, I may be careful to lead them in the ways of wisdom and true piety, so that at last I may, with them, be admitted to the unspeakable joys of our true home in heaven, in the company of the blessed Angels and Saints. Amen.
O Heavenly Father, I commend my children to Thy care. Be Thou their God and Father; and mercifully supply whatever is lacking in me through frailty or negligence. Strengthen them to overcome the corruptions of the world, whether from within or without; and deliver them from the secret snares of the enemy. Pour Thy grace into their hearts, and strengthen and multiply in them the gifts of Thy Holy Spirit, that they may daily grow in grace and in knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ; and so, faithfully serving Thee here, may come to rejoice in Thy presence hereafter. Amen.
Paula suggests the following be added to the Pledge of Allegiance after Morning Prayers and Bible Reading: “I am responsible for my actions and the consequences of my actions.”
Need to schedule LOTS of time alone with this child! I have been trying to devote time to one child per day, and each of the kids have their own “special day” each week, as well as one-on-one time with a parent, usually a date, once a month, on their birth date, but… it looks like we’ll have to do more with this one.
Preliminary evaluation:
- needs more time for active play and outlet for energies
- more responsibilities/chores around the house
- support with following a strict schedule
- slowly easing from one activity to the next
And one of my favorite authors/speakers:
We had read the Faber and Mazlish book (How to Talk….) years ago and I even attended a 6-week workshop — seems to have worked out well with our two oldest. Also read Kurcinka’s (Spirited Child) at the time. Will have to reread these two and see what we’ve been neglecting. The other 4 are new to me, so if any of you have read them/used them, please share your results! Thanks!
Thank you! I hope to be able to come back and read this post; rather than just skim it. I have two extremely strong-willed children who have me on my knees often.
Oh, so true, Christine! Exactly why, I believe, these children are given to us. The easy ones will tend to make us proud and rely on our own “skills”. The more difficult ones keep us humble and needful of God. So they are indeed blessings!
hi stef! I have read some of the books you listed but what really helped us with our 6 yr old son is his behavior chart. We list all the positive things he can do in a day (great day at school, doing chores without being asked, cleaning up room and baby brother’s toys, etc) and give them corresponding points and at the end of the day (or week), he can pick and choose what reward he wants to buy with his points (new book, play video game, watch tv, go to McDonald’s, etc). So we focus on his achievements more than the “challenges”.
Thanks, Malou! You’re exactly right about “catching them doing good”. While we often praise our children, this one needs more reinforcement than my first two. He needs constant reassurance that he’s doing well, that he did things right, that we’re proud of him, etc. Your behavior chart is very similar to the Blessing Chart I mentioned. We’ll be sure to implement this. Thanks again!