This just hit me today, so I don’t know yet if it’s merely a whim or if it’s the Holy Spirit whispering in my ear.
I even considered going back on FB just to post it there and ask my friends’ opinions… and then thought better of it. Why would I do that?? Of course they would have reasons for me to STAY, they love it there! 🙂
But yeah. I’ve been on Facebook for FIVE YEARS. I first got on because it was fun and some techie family members were doing it, and I wanted to monitor my 17-year-old, who is now 22 and doesn’t really need monitoring. Neither does my 16-year-old, for that matter. My 14-year-old, perhaps, but maybe more than monitoring his Facebook activities what he needs more from me is one-on-one time at home. I don’t know. He’s a boy, so his needs are a bit different from when our oldest was his age. He’s more independent and tends to do more boy things. He also has my addictive tendencies. 🙂 Perhaps I shouldn’t talk about him so much.
My 11-year-old isn’t on FB for obvious reasons. I don’t know that I would allow her to get on it when she turns 13. It will most likely depend on how mature and trustworthy AND still-open-to-correction she is at that age.
Five years. I’m not going to question the time I’ve spent there — that’s over and done with. And I’m not going to question the time others spend there, except for my kids — that’s none of my business. And I have no doubt my life is just a wee bit richer because of friends I’ve made there, and that friendships were made richer because of the ease of keeping in touch that FB affords us.
I guess my question keeps coming back to — do I NEED to be on Facebook? Other than monitoring children and future children, NO. Are there ways to keep in touch with the people I really want to keep in touch with besides Facebook? Yes, although with a few I’d probably have to make sure I have their e-mail and phone number since we’ve gotten so used to “the Facebook way”. I also don’t know if some friends may resent that my leaving may have to force them to contact me through other means… and phone calls aren’t exactly cheap, and e-mail does get buried, and snail mail, well, no one does that anymore. Although, this last concern probably shouldn’t even be a concern at all. People will keep in touch if they really want to keep in touch, regardless.
My 22-year-old is rather supportive about it. I don’t think she NEEDS me to be on FB the way she used to. And my 16-year-old’s main complaint is that I have all those pictures of them on FB — which could be a bad thing if you think about it. I reminded him that I still do have those pictures on my hard drive, and in higher resolution to boot. I haven’t asked the 14-year-old yet what he thinks, though knowing him it probably won’t make a difference one way or the other. As for my husband, I’m sure he’ll be 100% supportive of a permanent goodbye to FB.
My biggest concern right now besides family are two groups that I work with — a pro-life group and a homeschooling group — both of which use FB as their primary mode of communication. But the break so far is really making me think. Can I continue to serve these groups without staying plugged in? And the answer is YES.
What I would miss the most, I suppose, is the day-to-day chitchatting with friends. I don’t do this with a whole bunch of people, but there are a handful that I do keep in touch with on a regular basis. It would be weird not to be in touch with them as often, but some of these are friends that I’ve had for years so I know a change in mode of communication won’t make much of a difference. Perhaps we’ll continue talking through our blogs, or e-mail, or even by phone or snail mail. The others, well, I suppose I’ll find out if those friendships will survive outside of Facebook world or not. Either way, it’s the first time in years I’ve thought of FB and actually consider it a GAIN to be off it. Interesting times.
Lots of ideas here for me to stew on.
Wow, Paula, a comment already! I’m now wondering — did this post feed into Facebook somehow? Because my account is supposed to be deactivated. Which is another consideration. I’ve deactivated-reactivated so many times, but especially the last few months, and every time there’s some wonky FB feature that makes me go — HUH? Like still getting FB messages, or still getting notifications via e-mail, etc. Makes you wonder what’s going on with those FB features they’re not telling us about… like maybe there’s an NSA button somewhere there…. 😀
I saw it from FB, Stef. I’ve been thinking the same thing myself!
LOL!! Funny, ironic and hm… a little scary. Thanks for letting me know, Amy.
We have your blog and email! 🙂 do what you think your heart is telling you.
I’ve also considered deleting my account. I do feel guilty about plenty of wasted time just checking if there’s anything new. It feels like FB is sucking me in, and I want to just disconnect. Like an addiction. But when I think of our homeschool group, and the useful articles the people share, and all the business contacts which thru FB comes in handy, those make me stay. So my resolve was to keep it there but be really disciplined about when to go facebooking, how long to stay logged in, and just stick to checking if I have new messages, and if there’s anything interesting for me going on at Rockers. Then I log off. It’s can be challenging sometimes. But at least I don’t just hover in FB for no good reason anymore.
Hi Mommy Stef! This is the first time that I’ve left a reply in your blog. Umm, really it’s because I’m not so techie or computer savvy that it’s difficult for me to follow your blog.. I mean I don’t know how to follow your blog (or anybody’s blog for that matter) outside FB.. That’s how tech ignoramus I am! Anyway, I’ve learned so much from you and at least even for it I thank FB. Though, I also concede that FB is somewhat kind of “slippery path” to take.
I have thought all these same things, and I’ve been on FB for about 5 years also. My alumni friends would have fits! LOL they are the reason I stay — but does that mean I have to be it? Not really — they like seeing me there – my presence. If they need to contact me they can inbox my FB and I will be notified in my regular email. So it’s not like I can’t communicate with them, you know? So, I’m thinking of laying low..taking a Face break 🙂 I have oodles of other work to do as it is!! Thanks for your thoughts!!
stef, this is something i have actually been quietly contemplating for months.
Wow, do what you think is right! I suppose you are still mulling it over? Those things you mentioned are worthy considerations, and I can relate with some of them. Being off FB has its rewards (it’s been 19 days since I deactivated), and I’m try to remind myself about them from time to time when I suddenly get the urge to log on 🙂
Ooh, I have some updates for you. I’ll send you an email in a while.
Hope all is well with you and your family!
I’ve been thinking the same thing and yes, this was on FB.
🙁