I’m not white and I’m not black. Perhaps I should just shut up and let people sort things out for themselves? What can a Catholic Asian possibly say that would make a difference? I can only give it my best shot. I’ll answer a question I’ve seen many ask of those who dare speak out. In my 33+ years in the US, have I even experienced racism firsthand?
Yes and no. Let me illustrate with four experiences from 30 years ago:
- While working as a temp when we first arrived in the US, I got yelled at and called stupid by the head of a famous black organization in St. Louis, for not knowing what to do in a situation I had no idea I was going to have to deal with. My (white) co-workers came to my rescue after their boss had left me in tears.
- While shopping at Walgreens with my cousin, I was suspected of shoplifting by the (black) cashier, who demanded that she see the contents of my purse. I complied — she found nothing — but I was so angry and shaken by the experience that couldn’t sleep well for several days.
- While working as one of the secretaries at a dental school (the most diverse place I’ve ever worked at), I was chewed out by a (white) dentist-professor for not doing something he had told me to do but that went against my principles. I told our (white) boss, who called the subordinate into his office and reprimanded him for his behavior.
- While driving in our (predominantly white at the time) neighborhood, a (white) cop stopped me and gave me a ticket for no reason at all. He also got my keys, put them on top of his trunk and drove off, so I had to run after his car to grab my keys. Quite unnerving as I was in the first trimester of pregnancy at the time and had a 4-year-old waiting for me at home.
To me those (skin colors) are minor facts, although at the time, the word “racism” did occur to me. But decades later, having lived in different places and interacted with people of different positions, races, cultures, and creeds, I am convinced that those weren’t instances of racism, but of people — individuals— abusing their authority.
I don’t think I am owed an apology by whites, or blacks. Those individuals were not speaking/acting for their race. And I realize that my experiences are but a tiny fraction of other people’s experiences.
I believe that we can feel anger, compassion, frustration, sorrow, for things we weren’t directly responsible for… but in sharing the burden of setting things right, we need to play our part looking forward, not back. I cannot apologize for a past I wasn’t present to see. But I can and do apologize for my own past action and inaction, past thoughts, past words… and I can promise to do more, and do better, because I now know better.
Racism does still exist and will probably continue to, but it’s wrong to say that all Americans — and specifically all whites — are racist. I have listened to black people who hold opposing views on this and I will continue to listen… but I agree with those who say that racism in the US isn’t systemic or institutional. Regardless, voices from all sides agree that racism, whether systemic or not, needs to be rooted out. Where we depart from each other is in the how. Capitulating to BLM’s demands is not the answer.
When considering the problems that face the black community, and by extension all of humanity, both conservative and liberal black voices prescribe — as the long-term solution to poverty, to drugs, to violence — intact marriages and families, and especially fathers being the fathers they need to be. (See Black Voices Matter: A Compilation) This answer resonates with me the most, as a Catholic, a conservative, and a person of color. This answer resonates with me because they reveal what we’ve always known to be true, good, and beautiful.
We cannot evaluate abuse of power divorced from the milieu in which it thrives. Abuse is often found where power and opportunity meet, so we need to look at our institutions and our policies to see where we’ve gone wrong and what needs changing. But it means, more importantly, that the family, being the basic building block of society, is where change needs to begin.
All of us at some point in our lives have felt like we don’t belong, that we’re voiceless, disenfranchised. The one constant where I know I belong is family. For too many, however, this is not the reality, hence building/rebuilding family is where our focus needs to be, because it is there that we create the biggest, longest-term impact.
As Chip and Joanna and Emmanuel Acho point out, racism begins in the family. Robert Williams, my Black Psychology professor, concurs (and he was no conservative). But racism is not the only thing that is taught and learned in the family. Family is also where our identity originates and flourishes.
If we’re going to talk about identity, we cannot overemphasize the importance of fathers.
We come to understand the concepts of power, authority, obedience, and abuse within the family, before we learn what these things mean in the broader context of society. Further, our view of the Father, our relationship with Him, are shaped by our experiences with our own earthly fathers.
What identity are we giving our children? Do we raise them primarily as people of color, or as children of God? How I raise my children impacts how they in turn treat yours. And vice versa.
This is why Mother Teresa famously said, “If you want to change the world, go home and love your family.”
Family is where we first come to grips with our most deep-seated needs. The hunger for belonging, acceptance, understanding, and love, when unfulfilled within the family, manifests itself in violent, destructive ways. St. Teresa of Calcutta said as well, “If we have no peace, it is because we have forgotten that we belong to each other.” That universal hunger isn’t being fed in this godless society we’ve become. Fatherlessness often leads to godlessness. Children who are loved go out into the world prepared and eager to share that love with others. They know who they are. Their identity is firmly anchored on the love they’ve received, and it’s based on something that’s internal, not externals like skin color.
One of the most moving things I heard from the panel of black leaders that Pres. Trump gathered was this: “We need the fear of God.” This should not have needed saying. And yet here we are. We’ve seen the stats and we’ve seen the bloodshed. If we are ever to lead people back to God, we need men of faith to lead their children. Our primary identity needs to be not “Person of Color”, but “Child of the Father”, a Father who loves them and who sent His only Son to die for them. I would argue that it needs to be our ONLY identity. Until we work on this primary cause, we’ll find ourselves here time and again.
This Father’s Day, dear fathers, we need you, more than ever, to tell your children, and to show them, who they are.
References, Additional Reading/Watching:
On the Unjust Death of George Floyd and Racism in America, Marco Rubio, The Public Discourse
You Barely Make a Difference and It’s a Good Thing, Fr. Stephen Freeman, Ancient Faith
A Matter of Black Lives, Jeffrey Goldberg, The Atlantic
Black Voices Matter: A Compilation, Stef Patag
Racism and the Pro-Life Disconnect: A Black Catholic’s Experience, Linda B on Instagram
Can Catholics Support Black Lives Matter?, Catholic News Agency
We Need a “Manhattan Project” for Racial Reconciliation, Gunnar B. Gundersen, The Public Discourse
Reconciling the Body of Christ (An Interview with Fr. Josh Johnson), Fr. Mike Schmitz/Ascension Presents, YouTube
The Catholic Church on racism as early as the 15th century
Recent Comments