So many times in the course of my life I have asked for a cross, because I’ve perceived that I wasn’t suffering enough to earn a crown of glory. Sometimes it seems my life is just… too happy or blessed (I realize it may also be my optimism that plays into this). But at least once He has given me a cross that I then shortly decided was too heavy a burden to carry, so I asked Him to take it away, which He did. He then gave me a thorn, which I didn’t ask for, which I didn’t know I needed. It was to teach me a hard lesson in humility. (No guarantees that I’ve learned it well, but I try.) Lately He’s given me crosses which at first glance looked repulsive to me. There have been days I’ve recoiled from carrying them, but know enough now to stop short of asking Him to take them away, knowing that such crosses have purpose. I knew that before, but mostly intellectually.  These days I am learning that the crosses He gives us are often discernible from afar. We can SEE them coming, because we’ve actually been PREPARED to carry them. You know those times when you go through some seemingly pointless suffering, and you ask God, WHY? And there’s no answer? And then years later, as the newest cross comes, you figure it out: OH. THAT’S why.  As these crosses come closer we may not recognize them immediately, because we didn’t anticipate the shape that they would take. But as time goes on we come to know their intricacies, the grain, the knots in the wood, and we see the perfection, the contours that were made just for us… We come to know it not just by sight. We touch. We shed tears, sweat, perhaps blood.  We learn to love our crosses, even when the recoil doesn’t completely go away. Not only do we come to see that a particular cross has been fashioned for us… as we get close enough to touch it we see Christ ON the Cross, crucified WITH us, FOR us. As we learn to embrace the Cross, we embrace Him.