Miracle at Cana by Valerian Ruppert
Let’s Talk Submission Part 2: Some Practical Suggestions
Let’s Talk Submission Part 3: Last Thoughts
Last week, a friend asked me if I had a blog post on submission. She asked,”Does that mean we (women) don’t get to have opinions?” I promised her a more detailed answer, but assured her immediately that the answer to her question was NO.
Why is submission so misunderstood? When we talk about the husband-wife relationship, it seems to be the one word that makes everyone bristle, men and women alike, which is a pity, because understanding what submission is could be very helpful in our marriages, our families, and our faith.
I will hazard a guess that the misunderstanding is related to the hypersexualized language we have these days, as evidenced by a peek at Google.
What I’d like to present here is the Catholic viewpoint, with a few practical hints thrown in for good measure. But first let’s start with the Scripture that’s most quoted when talking about submission:
Wives, be subject to your husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. As the church is subject to Christ, so let wives also be subject in everything to their husbands. Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. Even so husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no man ever hates his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, as Christ does the church, because we are members of his body. “For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” This is a great mystery, and I mean in reference to Christ and the church; however, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband. – Ephesians 5:22-33, RSVCE
St. Pope John Paul II talks about submission several times in his Theology of the Body audiences. In the various examples he gives us, it is clear that submission is meant to be understood as submission to God’s will. Because of concupiscence, we are born with a spirit of rebellion, and it is in the learning to crush this spirit that we work out our salvation.
We know that marriage as an institution has already been damaged by a contraceptive and abortive culture, divorce, cohabitation, and the legalization of same-sex “marriage”. We also know that rebuilding a culture of life means we have to rebuild marriage and family. Submission plays a large role in that.
In order to follow God’s will, we need to be attuned to His Voice.
We are our children’s first authority figures. As they grow, it is through our example of surrender, obedience and submission to God’s will, that they also learn to see God as the ultimate Authority in their lives. I submit to my husband because I want my kids to learn what it means to submit to their father. In so doing, I am also teaching them what it means to submit to their Creator.
I am blessed in that I am married to a man who takes his role in the domestic church as seriously as he does, but one common lament I’ve heard from some married friends is that their husbands won’t lead, or don’t know how. I’ll tell you now, my husband has GROWN into that role through the years. While he was strong spiritually when we got married 25 years ago, he is even stronger today and is more comfortable and decisive about being our spiritual head and moral beacon here at home.
Misdirected feminism, unfortunately, has given us many emasculated men. It might take some retraining for them to assume that role, especially if they didn’t have adequate preparation prior to marriage, or received the wrong messages early on.
More tomorrow.
Let’s Talk Submission Part 2: Some Practical Suggestions
Let’s Talk Submission Part 3: Last Thoughts
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