Image Credit: Maria Go, https://marythedefender.wordpress.com/
Link to Part 1.
Link to Part 2.
Q. What about people who can’t afford legal services?
A. There are legal aid offices which provide free legal services in the Philippines, though not many.
The Integrated Bar of the Philippines has chapters all over the Philippines.
If they are in Manila, they can try the University of the Philippines Office of Legal Aid. This is the legal clinic of UP Law, where all UP Law students have to do internships, under the supervision of a lawyer.
There are two kinds of annulment: civil and church. If someone got married in church, then they he/she would need to get both a civil and church annulment. The first step would be to see the parish priest where the couple got married.
Re church annulments: A church annulment because church tribunals are understaffed. There very few canon lawyers, and canon law procedure is different, so they have to think about matters that non-canon lawyers don’t have to think about. The tribunals are overworked. That said, there are grounds that do not need too much investigation. For instance, if a person was not of the right age when he/she got married, all he/she has to show is his/her birth certificate and the wedding certificate. There cannot be 100% free annulments because there are administrative concerns and those cost money.
If a psychologist is needed, there are low-cost, competent psychologists with the University of the Philippines-Philippine General Hospital (UP-PGH).
Q. Divorce allows an abused woman to leave the relationship *and* remarry. Are you against an abused woman remarrying?
A. Several points here.
- Abuse itself isn’t solvable by divorce. With regards to abuse itself, there is already Republic Act No. 9262, although as I’ve pointed out before, it only addresses women and children. There is no such corresponding law to protect abused men.
- Remarriage sounds easy to “prescribe” for abusive relationships but
- While we want to be benevolent towards the victim, divorce will also allow the abuser the opportunity to marry and abuse another victim.
- There are exceptions, but some women have a pattern of getting into abusive relationships. It’s not their fault that they’re abused of course, but the pattern does exist. Abuse is a HUGE issue with so many other interconnected, underlying issues, that we cannot possibly cover it adequately here. Suffice it to say, the answer isn’t a simple “She needs a new husband.” (See Page 2 for a preliminary list on revictimization and other related issues). Note that RA 9262 only covers Battered Woman Syndrome (BWS) but abuse in relationships can happen to men or women and everyone else in between. That doesn’t mean, of course, that the law is useless for those whom it benefits.
- Acrimonious relationships don’t go away just because of divorce. Consider this nugget from Wallerstein, Lewis and Blakeslee, authors of the book The Unexpected Legacy of Divorce:
In our study, a third of the couples were fighting at the same high pitch ten years after their divorce was final. Their enduring anger stemmed from continued feelings of hurt and humiliation fueled by new complaints (child support is too burdensome or too little) and jealousy over new, often younger partners. The notion that divorce ends the intense love/hate relationship of the marriage is another myth of our times. Like many divorced people, Karen’s mother frequently called her ex-husband and got into shouting matches. As a result, the children were exposed to the hurt and anger that led to the breakup throughout their growing up years. Millions of children today experience the same unrelenting drama of longing and anger that refuses to die.
(Source)
Divorce may seem like an easy escape, but nothing is easy when it comes to abusive relationships. Divorce can just as easily exacerbate the long-term negative effects on everyone involved. There are no guarantees.
- Remarriage may seem an attractive option when we look at things from the emotional standpoint; sob stories abound. And from the Western/modernist point of view, any discussion about divorce is moot. It’s taken for granted that marriage is no longer the permanent institution people once believed it to be.
But what we do know is this. Divorce has not solved the problems it was supposed to solve. We have more messed up people and marriages today than we did 10, 20, 30 years ago. The sexual revolution has been tried and found severely wanting; divorce is only one of its fruits. Therefore the discussion on marriage and its permanency and indissolubility shouldn’t be tabled.
- Neither divorce nor remarriage occur in a vacuum, therefore they need to be evaluated not only in terms of the spouses but everyone else in that immediate circle, especially children.
- Once remarriage is allowed into the equation, one has to discuss subsequent marriages. It’s not about thinking “too far ahead” but simply taking the logic to the next step: If I can have a second marriage, why not a third or a fourth?
- It’s telling that in the US, “No longer are abuse and infidelity the main reasons given for divorce (although some research suggests infidelity occurs around the time of most divorces). Rather, divorcing spouses routinely claim they have simply “grown apart.” (Source)
What’s really needed:
- better preparation before marriage, so people don’t end up marrying the wrong person
- better support system — society, friends, programs like retrouvaille for troubled marriages — that help shore up and strengthen marriages rather than help break them down.
Suggested Reading:
The Lamest and Most ‘Gasgas’ Excuses for Divorce in the Philippines (Updated)
Is Divorce the ‘Fire Escape’ of Marriage?
20-point critique of the Explanatory Note in HB 4408: Introducing Divorce in the Philippines
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