Happy Father’s Day to all the daddies out there I have the privilege of knowing. Praying for many many more years of blessed fatherhood for all of you!
We just got home from St. Louis where we spent Father’s Day with Papa and Mama. I’d write a long one but I’m dead tired and the kids are waiting for their bedtime story. But I didn’t want the day to pass without saying something about my Papa and dh, and the Father who brought us together.
Besides God’s providence and my parents’ prayers, I credit Papa with my happiness as a married woman. I saw firsthand how a good man treats a woman. My mom was always treated with respect and kindness. Papa indulged her for the most part, but not to the point of spoiling her, if a wife could be spoiled. But Papa’s always been generous with her, and just as I’ve seen Mommy serve him and us children, he has served her and continues to serve her today. It was such a wonderful example to witness, my parents’ service to each other…. they didn’t make a big show of it, never called our attention to it; it was simply done. And so unconsciously I probably looked for the kind of man who wouldn’t think twice about showing affection for a woman by serving her and her family. My dh has always had a servant’s heart. One day, I believe my daughters will be happily married as well, because they see how their dad treats me. They’re not likely to settle for anything less.
I said I’d make this short, but there is one incident that I always look back on with fondness when I talk about Papa. When we first came to the US, I went through some rough spots, as to be expected with anyone who experiences a major change. Though he never said it, Papa probably realized just how much I was suffering inside. One afternoon he invited me to take the bus with him downtown to pay the electric bill. On the way we passed Ted Drewes and he offered to buy me a sundae. The custard was thick and luscious and rich, topped with an equally rich swirl of chocolate and crowned with an ample serving of nuts. It cost $1.50; we had just been in the US a few weeks, that period when every expense still tended to be calculated in Philippine pesos, and I knew just how much that $1.50 meant. But Papa’s generosity didn’t stop there. Upon getting off from the bus when we reached downtown, a magazine caught my eye — Pierce Brosnan on the cover of People! I don’t know if you can relate, but prior to that I had never bought a US magazine in the Philippines or anywhere. I was raised to think of those things as frivolities, so the only time I got to read these rags was at the doctor’s office or a friend’s house. But at the time I was a big fan of Pierce Brosnan, having religiously watched Remington Steele my first couple of years in college. And I couldn’t resist asking Papa to buy the magazine for me, despite knowing the dent I was creating in his budget. He bought it for me, no questions asked. This was before jobs, before stability, before any alleviation of the anxieties a new migrant is bound to feel when attempting to establish himself in a new land. If I had any doubts at all that my Papa loved me, they all disappeared that day. It may seem like such a little thing, but to someone who was homesick and depressed, it was just the thing to take the edge off the pain.
My dh is just as generous. He has never refused me anything that’s a genuine need, and has indulged quite a few wants along the way, as all good husbands are wont to do. And he’s so attuned to the children’s needs that gift-giving time is never difficult around here.
That they have a healthy view of things material is great, but I’ve also said before that my dh is my moral beacon. He’s the one who sets me straight when I’m straying. And he does this in the gentlest way possible. It’s not a surprise then that my Papa was exactly the same way. Growing up, if I could pick two words to describe my father I would have said “morally upright”. That has not changed. There are three particular sins that I am ashamed to admit here, but that my father rebuked me about silently when he saw that I was getting stuck and needed to turn back. I wasn’t yelled at, I wasn’t hit, I was sat down quietly and told that what I was doing wasn’t what God wanted me to do, and that I should stop doing it. Just like that. It didn’t make a huge impact with me at the time, but now I see just how powerful a faithful father could affect the life of a child. I couldn’t question him, couldn’t retaliate. I knew he spoke the truth, spoke it in wisdom and love and honesty. He was a man who prayed and believed and lived accordingly. Need I say again — my dh is the same.
My dad and my dh are not perfect men; no one is. But the most important things are there. I could boast about my Papa’s incredible memory, or his awesome singing voice, or his patience for little kids. I could boast about my dh’s prowess in martial arts, or his intellect, or his capacity to deal with difficult people with understanding and care. I’d be lying if I didn’t say I’m proud they have all those other gifts. But more than that, these two fathers who have touched my life, have brought me so much closer to Our Father, closer than I would be had they not been here. Their lives and their faiths are indeed tributes to the One who loves us all and gives us all we need.
Thank you Lord, for them!
Prayer for Fathers
St. Joseph, guardian of Jesus and chaste husband of Mary, you passed your life in loving fulfillment of duty. You supported the holy family of Nazareth with the work of your hands. Kindly protect those who trustingly come to you. You know their aspirations, their hardships, their hopes. They look to you because they know you will understand and protect them. You too knew trial, labor and weariness. But amid the worries of material life your soul was full of deep peace and sang out in true joy through intimacy with God’s Son entrusted to you and with Mary, his tender Mother. Assure those you protect that they do not labor alone. Teach them to find Jesus near them and to watch over him faithfully as you have done. – Pope John XXIII
And an awesome read for Father’s Day: The Catholic Origins of Manliness.
Recent Comments