Our youngest turns 18 in three months. Our homeschooling career is drawing to a close, and this last year is just as bittersweet as all the other “last years” with our older kids. He is down to two subjects (Anatomy and Physiology, and Public Speaking) at our homeschool co-op, a third with a private teacher (Philosophy), and the rest he’s doing on his own. He is now mostly in charge of his education — as it should be.

Last week while we were driving to class, he brought up The Gift of the Magi. I cherish these conversations because as kids grow older, we don’t often read the same books at the same time anymore. I love hearing their perspectives on the books they’re reading, usually learn a thing or two that I hadn’t considered before, and often add their faves to my “want-to-read” list.

Back to Gift of the Magi. Funny, he didn’t like the book. He pointed out the apparent lack of communication between the couple, the fact that they were starting out, that they were already poor, and should have had a better plan for spending their money. You don’t get it, I told him. It’s supposed to make you think about giving, and about giving from a state of want, vs. a state of abundance. When we love people, we sometimes express that love through gifts, and sacrifice makes the gifts even more precious. He countered that the book actually scared him from giving gifts, because what if a gift isn’t needed after all? That is not the point, I argued. In terms of the plot, well, the wife will grow her hair back, and they can buy a watch when they’re able to afford it. He was having none of that and messaged the fam chat to see if any of his siblings felt the same way about the story. LOL.

I then asked him what he thought of The Giving Tree, because I remember the (at times contentious) online discussions about it in homeschooling mom groups. He views it as a portrayal of motherhood. I agreed. But I said it also makes me think of God and His infinite love for us. He gives and gives and we take and take, though of course we can’t deplete God like the boy depleted the tree.

We drove on, listening to his playlist. I always ask him if he wants to play his music, so I can get a peek at his current tastes. Not necessarily his current state of mind, he says. Some are inherited from us (80s stuff), others from his siblings, and others he found himself. He’s got a playlist for when he’s headed to taekwondo testing, or a competition. He’s got another for when it’s rainy. When it’s something new I hadn’t heard before, or when the lyrics are strange to me, I ask questions. He can totally wax poetic about Hadestown and its songs and behind-the-scene stories, and he’s educated me quite a bit on Twenty-One Pilots, and many other artists and songs.

I told him how I kinda feel bad for him that Dad is now retired, and he won’t have the experiences our older boys had. Dad used to drop off Paco (now 30) and Migi (27) at college and then drive to work. They usually left at 6 am. He prayed with them as they drove out of our neighborhood. Sometimes the boys caught up on sleep while dad drove, but sometimes they had deep conversations too. Nino reminded me that he does still get to drive with Dad a lot, on the way to taekwondo or to their Trail Life meetings. He plans to go into engineering, following in his dad’s and brothers’ footsteps, but he hopes (as I do) that he’ll still have time for artistic pursuits like cinematography. Time will tell.

And then he reminded me that when he was little dad would wake him up before leaving for work. According to him, we’d go back to bed (our family bed) after Dad left, and he’d wake up later to me praying the Liturgy of the Hours. He said the phrase “Meribah and Massah” stuck with him because he’d never heard them anywhere else. He then proceeded to recite that part of the Invitatory Prayer with me, in the car, that day! I had no recollection of praying aloud at all when he was that age, but I guess I did. (For Christmas 2025 we gave him his own set of the LOTH. So now he prays it too (thanks to Eagle Eye for training the habit).)

Ah, the teen brain is quite a wonder to behold. Their thoughts and even their memories are such gifts to us. They hold so much in their young hearts.